Jerrod Balzer

"Studies" Illustrated

Mon, 20 May 2013 21:47:04 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/studies-illustrated/

This is an excellent example of how people can use “studies” to influence people, whether it’s for some new miracle cure, the poisons of last year’s miracle cure, or anything that a “statistic” or “poll” can be found cited to push an agenda.

READ IT HERE

And before you get all pissed off at the content, look at the last few paragraphs of the article to fully understand its meaning.

I've actually heard this in my life.

Sun, 19 May 2013 21:53:12 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/heard-life/

“I tore my taint!”

It was spoken in a similar accent as “They took our jobs!” and by someone who had fallen off of a mechanical bull.

Is it worth the text?

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:59:19 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/worth-text/

Rip Van Balzer

Fri, 17 May 2013 07:17:33 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/rip-van-balzer/

Had a bad enough seizure yesterday that just kept lingering with spasms, so I kind of slipped into a little coma, so to speak, in my recliner. Robin finally woke me up late in the evening because I was snoring so loud, and I went to bed where my CPAP is located.

However way I managed it, I’m better rested today, so I’m gonna try to get something productive done.

Here we go again, Media.

Thu, 16 May 2013 00:20:05 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/again-media/

New York Post released an article about handicapped people being paid to escort rich people ahead of the lines at Disney, and it’s based on 100% hearsay HERE.

And when you get something this juicy that isn’t backed up by any proof at all, you know what that means, right? IT MUST BE TRUE!

Release the MEDIA FRENZY!

It can only mean there must be something far more important going on that requires a stupid distraction.

Total Recall (minor spoilers)

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:43:32 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/total-recall-minor-spoilers/

I finally got around to watching the latest Total Recall movie, and I loved it! I’d heard the moaning and groaning about the movie prior to watching it, and it’s one of the reasons I took my time. I’ve really got to stop letting that stuff get to me! This film was one wild ride!

Now, the original film came out in my teens, so I was at just the right age to be completely hooked on it, along with other Verhoeven films such as RoboCop and Starship Troopers. When I heard they were doing a remake of Total Recall, my first reaction was like when I heard about the upcoming RoboCop remake… why? The first was so awesome and still holds up.

Then I heard the hate over the news that in the remake, Quaid doesn’t go to Mars. This seemed blasphemous to fans but it doesn’t bother me one bit. Consider the source material: in Philip K. Dick’s short story, “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale,” Quail (his name in the story) does not go to Mars. The character had already been to Mars, hence his longing to go after his memory was wiped, but we never see the character leave Earth.

Normally, when remakes are done, I’m fine with them so long as they’re well-made and they’re not carbon copies of the original. The Psycho remake was pointless, in my opinion, as was The Hitcher clone (though the sequel was a hoot). If you’re going to tell the story again, do your own thing while paying tribute.

The latest Total Recall pulls this off, and it does so beautifully. On most occasions, I prefer the version that can be closest to the source material, like John Carpenter’s The Thing – it was much closer to “Who Goes There?” than the old The Thing from Another World. However, the short story for Total Recall was actually more of a comedy. Outside of the initial visit to the clinic, it’s a good thing that both films do their own thing, and because of the originality we see in both, we have two great, action-packed sci-fi films that stem from the same idea, and the remake does make some great nods to the original which makes it all the more fun.

Waking up to Facebook

Sun, 12 May 2013 11:56:49 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/waking-facebook/

I love Facebook but wow, sometimes it makes me shake my head so hard.

I thought – thought – I’d seen some crazy stuff for the morning when I logged on to see this comment on an Iron Man 3 discussion:

I just wish Marvel stop doing this superhero mash up crap in MOVIES… I just can’t take it that we are supposed to accept that Thor, Hulk and Iron Man are all supposed to live in the same world and share the same history.

I asked if the person was serious before banging my head on something.

I thought that would be my wild one for the day, but nope. Within minutes, I’m posting the following reply elsewhere:

Just popping on to say A. It’s ridiculous to imply that every time children goes missing, it’s because a Mexican sold them across the border into sex slavery, and B. Springfield, MO is NOT the setting for Simpsons. The town is called Springfield but there’s also one in Illinois, etc – it’s a vague, common town name.

Got my first iPod and what it means for me.

Fri, 10 May 2013 21:02:37 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/ipod-means-me/

I used birthday money received to buy my very first iPod, and this wasn’t necessarily to spoil myself, though I’m sure I’ll enjoy it plenty. It also wasn’t a big fancy one with a screen – I really had no use for that. I only wanted something that would hold enough music for a long road trip, and I wanted a shuffle function so I’m not listening to the same order every time. Anything else would be overkill, especially since it would only take one seizure in the car to crack a screen.

So I got the iPod Shuffle. It’s perfect! No screen, it holds about 2GB of music and it… shuffles. It’s so tiny that I worry I’ll lose it, but it will fit nicely in my shirt pocket. I also got a silicon sleeve for it and some noise-cancelling earbuds because I’m told the ones that come with it aren’t the best.

So here’s why: When I’m in the car, the road noise gets to me after maybe an hour of riding. That sound of tires on asphalt does something related to my conversion disorder and the next thing I know, the car has to be pulled over because I’m having a seizure. We’ve tried turning the radio on but it doesn’t mask the noise well enough. Also, sometimes it gets a bit squelchy, or a loud commercial comes on and makes things worse.

Another thing, and this may be rooted with some psychological trauma that helped cause the disorder, but as the anxiety of an oncoming seizure builds, I begin to get weird flashes in my head, like I’m in a car crash – vehicles flying at the windshield and such. I guess it’s all part of a panic attack coming on before the seizure but it’s certainly not nice.

Anyway, I look forward to trying this iPod out on the next road trip. I know it works well because I gave it a shot here in the house. Robin couldn’t hear the music though it was turned up plenty loud, and I could barely hear her. This may be worth using on days at home when the dogs are barking a lot, etc. That always increases my seizure activity.

Back on Ambien, baby!

Tue, 07 May 2013 23:00:52 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/ambien-baby/

So, Restoril really sucks, as you might gather from this blog entry HERE.

Oddly enough, the gentleman my mother takes care of also takes Restoril, and she notices him moving his fingers a lot in his sleep. She thought it was cute, like perhaps he was working on something in his dreams, similar to a dog running in his sleep. But that got her to thinking perhaps the drug has a weird side effect not mentioned in literature, and since I have an issue with spasms, etc, in my sleep to begin with, it was only worse with me.

He had also tried Ambien but quickly stopped because he would get up in the middle of night and insist on stacking mattresses or something. Well, I also get goofy, as evidenced HERE but I’d rather that than having raw hands and feet each day.

So, does this mean Webby Tiger Piss will continue? The chances are certainly higher, right? As always, I’ll never post silly stuff purposely to have something for it. Thing on WTP will only go there if I have no recollection of doing it afterward.

We shall see.

By the way, I did ask if I should try something else, like Lunesta, and the doc said to just go back to Ambien.

Sleeping Battle Plan

Fri, 03 May 2013 00:09:00 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/sleeping-battle-plan/

Tonight, I’m going to go to bed with my old weight-lifting gloves on. I’ve been unable to do much computer work, etc, lately because my hands feel raw all the time. My feet, too, but I’m not trying to do things with them – they just hurt.

See, this change in sleeping medication isn’t working out. Ambien was making me too goofy so I was put on Restroril. Well, where Ambien was helping with my Conversion Disorder spasms during sleep, Restoril is not. In fact, I think it’s aggravating things. It gives me bad dreams every night! I’ll dream that someone is trying to microwave our degus, or that I’m divorced from Robin and I don’t know why, or that my father is alive again, but yelling and screaming at everyone in one of his old drunken rages.

And so I’m having seizures in deep sleep again. All night long while I’m knocked out by the pill and stuck in its induced nightmares, my toes and fingers are steadily clenching and relaxing, then clenching again, repeatedly for hours. Also the stomach spasms, etc.

I’d been wondering why everything hurts so much more lately, but Robin witnessed me doing this the other night so I know for sure what’s up now. And if I don’t take the pill, I’ve got insomnia all night and seizures, so I’m damned either way.

Until I can talk to the doctor about it, the weight gloves are going on tonight. Maybe they’ll keep my fingers from clenching so much through the night and I can actually use my hands better tomorrow. They’re screaming just typing this up, ugh.

Wish me luck!

Great first review of Adam J. Whitlatch's The Weller!

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 14:57:59 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/great-review-adam-j-whitlatchs-weller/

Retro Rocket Press had its first release recently, and the praise is already coming in! Check out what Survival Weekly had to say about The Weller by Adam J. Whitlatch:

CLICK HERE TO READ

Next weekend, play Marvel Heroes beta!

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 03:07:55 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/weekend-play-marvel-heroes-beta/

Last weekend, I was excited to play in the closed beta of the upcoming Marvel Heroes game. It rocketh muchly. I’m unsure if hardcore fans of DC Universe Online will be into it, but if you’re like me and prefer Diablo II type games but with Marvel goodness, this is for you!

Anyway, this weekend in celebration of Iron Man 3 opening in theatres, anyone who registers will be allowed to play! So what are you waiting for?

So you know, it launches officially on June 4th and is built from the ground up to be free to play. You can buy heroes and perks if you can’t wait to play this character or that, but you start off with one hero (they give you about four to pick from and you work with that to begin with). Then, as you play, you’ll randomly find costumes and characters dropped by villains or in boxes. So if you simply kick back and enjoy it, you can eventually get everything without paying a cent! However, if you have to play as Spider-man or Deadpool right off the bat, you can purchase them and this helps support the developers.

This weekend, they’re letting us choose from Iron Man, The Hulk (I played him mostly last weekend and he’s awesome!), Captain America, Thor, or Black Widow. Progress made during this won’t carry over at launch since this is beta, and when it does launch, the characters we can pick from will be Daredevil, Hawkeye, Thing, Scarlet Witch, and Storm. The full FAQ can be read HERE.

Anyway, the article about this weekend is HERE so be sure to register while you’re there!

Well, she's screwed.

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 02:52:09 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/well-screwed/

Cable ouchies

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 17:21:14 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/cable-ouchies/

We had cable re-installed after many years. When we first moved to our current home in ’06, we had it, but later switched to satellite, then killed that a few years ago for Netflix only on the PS3. We found we were watching that more than anything, and it only cost 8 bucks a month!

And while we’ll still watch mostly Netflix, we had cable hooked back up so Robin could watch Little House on the Prairie, Dr. Quinn – Medicine Woman, Hallmark Channel, etc, in the other room. Also, when my mother is here for a few hours doing this or that, she can turn it on (the main living room has a smaller TV with only a DVD player hooked to it while all the good stuff is elsewhere – she wants to have cable on that).

Well, today we tried letting Robin watch her shows on the big screen while I did my thing on my laptop that sits on its swivel stand over my lap (so I don’t kick it away during an unexpected seizure), and something neither of us missed began to cause problems: those damn commercials.

They’d come blaring on and jar me enough to where I was on the brink of having a seizure. The show came back on so I thought all was cool, but when Alice fired up this horrible-sounding vacuum cleaner on Brady Bunch, I started into a definite seizure.

Well, shit. I remembered back to my last sleep study when the nurse was putting the electronic thingies on my head, and I asked her to turn the TV down. She said it was on to help folks relax but I explained to her that the blaring commercials were messing with me, so best to play it safe unless she wanted a mess on her hands.

But it’s cool. Robin can still watch her shows in the other room. I’m a little nervous because I can’t see her, but I know what she’s doing and that something has her focus. Perhaps the set show schedules will help in her routine, as that’s always good for schizophrenics.

And me with my conversion disorder, well maybe the time to myself will give my nerves a rest. We’ll see how it works.

Hot meat in my mouth

Thu, 25 Apr 2013 14:34:33 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/hot-meat-mouth/

Note to self: when a giant meat stick says “Freakin’ Hot!” on the label, take it more seriously and don’t gobble the whole thing down at once.

Marvel Heroes closed beta

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 15:28:28 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/marvel-heroes-closed-beta/

I got invited to the Marvel Heroes closed beta this weekend! Woohoo! Being created by the people who brought us Diablo II, and working the same way (point and click), it should be a blast. That should prove to be a nice stress release.

I’d tried DC Universe on PS3 and finally deleted it. It was an 18gb monster that had to update for an hour nearly every time I wanted to play it. Forget that. I’m looking forward to how Marvel approaches this. I already like that they let you play as characters we know and love, rather than make up unknowns. They’re playing on a multiverse angle that allows several Things or Wolverines to be in one place, but they’ll each have their own traits and abilities depending on how the individual players develop them.

I'm trying... really hard.

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 04:15:19 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/trying-hard/

I’m sitting here once again at 4am, wondering why the hell can’t I sleep? I just ate a bowl of bran flakes, and each time I moved my jaw to chew, there was a sharp pain through the back of my neck. As I type, it feels like like the tendons in my wrist are ready to snap and the muscles in my forearms are twisting. My palms and all the padding of my fingers feel raw from contorting this way and that throughout the day.

And those are just the ones I’ve been using.

This isn’t a whine post. I’m just painting the picture for my current state. They changed out my Ambien for Restoril because the Ambien made be do silly things. Well, I’m still not sleeping. I’m dead tired but a stomach muscle, etc, will spasm just as I’m about to doze off. Or as I close my eyes, they start to bulge under my eyelids like they’re trying to pop out. Or at least, that’s what it feels like.

And yes, I’ve been having maybe one seizure a day, again, despite the double in meds. They still help a lot, and the seizures don’t seem as severe. I’ll take what I can get.

The point I’m getting to is I’ve been trying to stay busy to keep my focus, though my windows of productivity are still small each day, if existent. I’ll think I’m getting a lot done, and then realize most of the week has gone by so not really. My memory has been total crap lately, far worse than usual, and I’m sure with all the pain I’ve been in, I’ve been grumpy. I don’t mean to be.

So if I’ve been short with anyone, or ignoring any messages, I just wanted to say it’s unintentional. I honestly can’t think of whether or not I have been, but it’s times like these when I’ll sit back and wonder, “Have I been an asshole lately?” I don’t remember but if so, I apologize and I hope you understand.

Unless you deserve it, of course.

Spring is always rough on schizophrenics, so Robin has been extra delicate, too. That’s been added stress while I tend to her needs despite all of my problems. And despite her escalated issues, she’s putting up with me stumbling around the house and having seizures. So as always, we’re there for each other and I love that.

So anyway, I’m mainly just rambling, but I wanted everyone to know that I’m trying… really hard not to be a horse’s ass, in case I ever am (more than normal). When I can’t remember what I did an hour ago, I get extra paranoid of my actions, is all. Thankfully, most of my friends know not to take me seriously when I get to being very bitchy because I might cuss you one minute and hug you the next. I’m silly like that, lol.

Take care all! Hug your loved ones, take your vitamins, take your vehicle for a leisurely drive in the country with your favorite music playing, and the next time you make pancakes, try putting peanut butter on them while they’re hot and top ‘em with corn syrup.

That is all.

Regarding the News in general.

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 01:10:50 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/news-general/

I still don’t regret ditching the satellite for Netflix a few years ago. It’s not only cheaper but I’m no longer tempted to look at network media who feeds off of suffering and negativity to keep their sponsors fat.

KHP Arcade is open!

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 15:56:16 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/khp-arcade-open/

Need a break from browsing KHP’s selection of ebooks? We understand. Let’s smash some buttons together!

When we’re not working or simply need to blow off some steam, we love to play games. We can’t be alone in this, so now there is the KHP Arcade, where you can come and play for the low, low price of FREE!

There are no strings attached. We built it for our own enjoyment, as well as our fellow readers. We were tired of hunting down similar games only to find sites full of crazy pop-ups or were suspicious of viruses, etc. We’ve installed these games on site so they’re clean. All you have to worry about is having fun!

Because we’re installing each game individually, it will take time to build the library of titles up but we already have several and it will keep growing. Spread the word and get your friends in on it!

Medical Update - double dosage

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 15:37:11 -0500

From http://jerrodbalzer.com/medical-update-double-dosage/

A week ago, a went to see my neurologist so he could see how things are going in regards to my conversion disorder. I told him how taking Vistoril had kept me without seizures until about the end of January, but then they slowly crept back on me until I was having one or two nasty ones a day, and they tend to happen at least one between 7 and 9pm. Perhaps because the day is winding down?

That is still tons better than five or six a day, and of course, I still have my cataplectic episodes should I be startled (my feinting goat routine).

… Damn it! I forgot to let him know something. See how bad my memory is – that hasn’t changed. I know, everyone has bad memories, right? Well, my brain actually shuts down if I use it for very long. Everything blanks out so I’m just staring off into space, barely realizing where I am. So please, no bad memory jokes, lol.

Anyway, what I forgot to mention was how much worse sound is getting for me. Sure, loud noise can startle me and trigger a seizure, but it’s been causing me actual, physical pain. If someone blurts something out at me, it’s like a sharp, electrical jolt going through my head that makes me jump. If it happens often enough in a short period of time, the muscles across my forehead, from one temple to the other, will begin to tighten into a massive charley-horse type of spasm – similar to my other seizures. And this is pretty much more unbearable than any of my other areas for having them.

I need to call him and tell him. And now I do recall why I didn’t tell him. I had a bad seizure during the office visit. They had me to all these visual exercises – routine stuff line follow their fingers with your eyes without moving your head, stuff like that. Well, after a few minutes of that, I dropped and went into one.

It’s good that they see it, though, whenever possible.

He asked about the cognitive behavior therapist I was seeing, and I told him I haven’t been seeing him since December. Well, I was doing better with the new meds, the therapist was convinced that there was little that could be done when I was surrounded by my triggers (caring for a disabled person 24/7, etc) and then he left the facility. He was the only one in that field that any medical facility in my area could offer, so I was out of luck.

My neurologist, then, wants to get me with this really good therapist in their facility, but the problem is that it’s three hours away, fine for those 4-6 month visits, but for a more regular basis? He’s going to try figuring something out, though.

He said plan A is medication, plan B is therapy, and he’s putting together a plan C if that doesn’t work, but he wouldn’t say what.

In the meantime, he doubled my Vistroril which I expected and, thanks to that, I’ve been seizure-free for this past week. Yay! I’d figured my system was just getting used to the lower dosage and perhaps it needed to be raised. I still have trouble with my memory, weak knees that drop out under me, etc, but hey, I’ll take the good with the bad.

With all that said, I gotta take a break. My eyes have been playing hell with dilating more, too, and I’m having trouble seeing the letters right now.